Do you sometimes feel like you are running on empty but don’t know why? Or maybe you feel slightly drained, but you can’t put your finger on what’s holding you back. It could be that you are living with too many tolerations.
What are tolerations? Tolerations are things that you are putting up with every day that are distracting you from what is most important. They are draining your energy, maybe not physically, but at least mentally and emotionally, and could be keeping you from reaching your goals. They are the white noise in your life. Here’s a way to think about it: Have you ever been on your phone and noticed that it is running slowly, and you realize that you have like 43 tabs open? Each one is taking up storage, slowing down your phone, and you didn’t even realize it. Each of your tolerances is an open tab, draining you of critical energy.
Tolerations are NOT the mundane but necessary things in your life – we all have those. For example, housework and less enjoyable aspects of your job are not usually tolerations, but simply part of life. Tolerations are things that you have a choice over.
So what are you putting up with that you have a choice to change? When you walk down the hallway in your home, do you have to steer around some boxes that have been sitting there for six months since your last move? That’s a toleration. When you are dressing for the day, does your eye wander to the stack of returns waiting to be taken to the store? That’s a toleration, too. Can you live with those things? Of course you can. Do they nag at you? At some level they do.
And tolerations aren’t just the little things. Have you had the same volunteer position for five years and you are ready to move on but are not doing so because it may involve a difficult conversation? Are you in the habit of answering emails at 9:00 pm because you think your boss expects that instead of simply setting and communicating boundaries for your time? Are you bored at work but finding a new job feels like too much effort? All of these are tolerations.”
Tolerations are draining your energy and focus, so what can you do? Banish them! Start making a list of your tolerations (I’ve even included a writable pdf for you below!). Give yourself time to think. You might not think of many at first, but then usually once you make space for reflection, you notice tolerations everywhere. Are there five easy ones that you could banish over a weekend? Taking care of just a few will leave you energized and motivated, and will have a snowball effect. The more tolerations you banish, the more energy you will have to banish more tolerations.
As an executive coach, accountability is key with my clients. It is also a key for banishing tolerations. Once you have decided on how many tolerations you want to banish and by when, share it with an accountability partner. Then set a cadence to continue to meet to report on how you are doing and set new goals. Also, don’t forget to reward yourself for the progress you make!
Let this be your time to quiet the white noise in your life, find new energy, and live abundantly.